Today has been a week since Bosley's passing. It's been a roller coaster of unpredictable emotions. Today was fine until I got home. I realized that most people don't hear what I say. They may look as though they're listening, when actually they are thinking of what they are going to say as soon as I shut up. They immediately say - its like when this or that happened to me - blah blah blah.
Meanwhile I realize that they didn't hear a word I said. How I miss Bosley. How tired I am. How I can't sleep well. How I watch videos and look at photos of Bosley because I miss him so badly.
I stand there as they talk about a relatives pet who is sick, or how long it's been since their dog has been to the vet, or how their dog got injured messing where it shouldn't be. Their dog! Their dog! Their dog!
Right now, all I care about, all I can think about, all I'm concerned about is that MY DOG isn't here and I had to watch him die last week! All of those visits to the vet were for NOTHING! Watching him get sick and shake with pain. Leaving the vet empty handed because I had to leave Bosley's body there. How I'm so tired of having to pretend that I'm OK, but really I'm angry that Bosley got cancer. So...I just stopped talking to people.
Meanwhile I realize that they didn't hear a word I said. How I miss Bosley. How tired I am. How I can't sleep well. How I watch videos and look at photos of Bosley because I miss him so badly.
I stand there as they talk about a relatives pet who is sick, or how long it's been since their dog has been to the vet, or how their dog got injured messing where it shouldn't be. Their dog! Their dog! Their dog!
Right now, all I care about, all I can think about, all I'm concerned about is that MY DOG isn't here and I had to watch him die last week! All of those visits to the vet were for NOTHING! Watching him get sick and shake with pain. Leaving the vet empty handed because I had to leave Bosley's body there. How I'm so tired of having to pretend that I'm OK, but really I'm angry that Bosley got cancer. So...I just stopped talking to people.
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